Home Lifestyle Entertainment Play tackling the subject of suicide comes to the Claddagh Ring

Play tackling the subject of suicide comes to the Claddagh Ring

The Claddagh Ring in Hendon will host the play Prodigal.

Written by Andrew Carney and performed by Andrew and Tom Carney, the play centres around a family touched by suicide.

It was seeing the devastating impact of suicide as a teacher that moved Andrew to write the story.

The run will also supports the charity, Stamp Out Suicide.

The Irish World spoke to both writer/ performer Andrew Carney and Colm Farrell of the charity Stamp Out Suicide. 

Andrew Carney told The Irish World: “It was all the way back in 2016 now (that I wrote it), that’s nine years ago.

“It’s a very simple one act story of how a father and son reconnect after the loss of a brother/ son.

“But I tackle the thorny subject of suicide in the play which is quite tough.

“There were a number of suicides locally here in Tuam, County Galway, where I’m from.

“Thankfully that has abated in recent years but there was a spate at one point.

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“The figures are very high in Ireland in general and especially young among young males.

“But in my teaching capacity, I had a couple of former students take their own lives within a short space of time, a number of weeks a number of years ago.

“I’m a secondary school teacher and it was former students, but just coincidentally, across two schools.

“One boy unfortunately took his own life in Connemara, a boy who was a high achiever, a very bubbly personality: It wasn’t something that was anticipated at all in terms of any mental health difficulties.

“And then the other end of the coin a few weeks later, a boy in Tuam who many people had been concerned about, who had presented with mental health difficulties and, unfortunately, really struggled.

“It just underlined the point to me that it’s impossible to predict at times so therefore it’s very difficult to tackle the problem unless awareness is raised where people might be able to get some help.

“So it was in the back of my mind then to write a play that tackles the subject really, and to raise awareness.”

That’s the idea of doing it in aid of Stamp Out Suicide, isn’t it? To help the good work they do..

“We had a long break for COVID.

“We did a lot of touring 2018/ 2019 then had a long break then in 2020, into ‘21 but middle of 2022 we brought it back, performed it in Galway.

“Then we brought it to Coventry.

“And Colm (Farrell, Stamp Out Suicide), who I know from Tuam and is obviously the driving force behind Stamp out Suicide, got wind that it was being performed in Coventry.

“He couldn’t come that weekend but he said, ‘Why don’t you bring it elsewhere?’

“And in 2024 we did a northern tour of sorts.

“We went to Warrington, Liverpool and Manchester to raise money for Stamp out Suicide, a charity we believe very strongly in and we’ll been raising money in the Claddagh Ring for Stamp out Suicide once again.

“We’ve performed it a number of times for Colm now and that has gone really well for us to raise awareness for what he does and also vital funds for the services because Stamp out Suicide are involved in directly saving people’s lives, offering life saving counselling essentially.”

Do you find there’s a powerful reaction in the room when you do it? Do people want to share their own stories?

“Absolutely.

“It is fairly strong.

“There are elements of humour but really, a lot of it is very tough.

“We have had a couple of experiences.

“Because the play tackles family discord, alcoholism- Benny, the father, is a recovering alcoholic so after one performance, a man approached us to say he would look at his drink problem, he’s been thinking about it for a while. He wanted to tackle that.

“We had another encounter whereby a man approached us after the play and said he was going to ring his father and say he loved him because that is discussed in the play as well.

“That’s just a couple of examples but we’ve had a number of examples.

“I suppose to play is triggering, it might just strike a chord with some people.

“It’s a profound experience for us when that happens really.”

Does it take it out of you to perform the show?

“It does.

“And I think if we are doing it to the best of our ability, then it should.

“It can do absolutely.

“We do have to dig deep emotionally to get there and make it as convincing and as real as possible for the audience, we do want it to be a real type of experience.

“The audiences tend to be quite close to us.

“It’s fairly intimate.

“It suits intimate venues.

“I suppose the desired effect might be that it’s like an overheard conversation really.

“It has to feel naturalistic.

“There aren’t too many bells and whistles in the play now, it’s storytelling essentially and if we need to bring the audience with us, then certainly we do have to tap into emotions.

“There’s no doubt about that.”

I bet you never thought the play would take you on this journey when you first sat down to write it or got your first performance together..

“It’s quite ironic that you asked that because Tom and I only discussed that lately.

“We did talk about that.

“We didn’t see it going as long as it has or as far as it has.

“And it might have been a very difficult thing to plan initially but it’s so satisfying that it’s still going.

“I’m not sure for how much longer, we certainly enjoy it so much.

“The key point is that it has an impact, it does raise awareness and it can get a couple conversations going.

“That actually is what’s most important.”

It was once a taboo subject, do you think people are talking about it more. Do you see positive change there?

“Oh, absolutely.

“And even in my job now, it’s not that we teach mental health or that it comes up formally but informally and indirectly, I think the younger generations in particular are less afraid to talk about it so I think that’s healthy.

“Even in the eight, nine years, the dialogue has certainly been opened.

“People are more amenable now.

“Obviously the culture in the UK and Ireland is very similar and I’d imagine it’s probably running along similar lines, that the dialogue has been opened far more freely across both sides of the water now really.

“That’s a good thing once it’s done responsibly and within the right parameters.

“But I think it does have to be done responsibly as well.

“For example if the play does raise conversation, that’s brilliant but I would always say, ‘I’m a mental health advocate but I’m certainly not a mental health expert’.

“I’m not a counsellor myself but just to connect people to the people who can help them is absolutely essential.

“I think young males struggle with the dialogue more, not even just around mental health but I think communication styles now are a little more free perhaps around emotions, things are a little bit softer. And I think that’s no harm at all compared to previous generations.

“Obviously modern society brings a lot of challenges.

“The Coronavirus period was tough for a lot of people so certainly mental health is in the frame more and lives are very pressurized now.

“Anything that can raise awareness around the need if people are struggling, if they are presenting with mental health.

“That dialogue is essential now at this point in time.”

You have also performed the piece in aid of Pieta House whose annual Darkness into Light walk brings the issue of suicide to the forefront..

“It is a demonstration of just the impact that suicide has had on families: The loved ones who are lost but the effect of the impact of what’s left behind.

“The play goes into that as well.

“The father and son, who are estranged, have to reconnect over the course of the play.

“They are reeling from the shock of their loss and they’re not just reconnecting but they’re trying to figure out, how do they go forward in life? How do they deal with with the trauma of what has happened within their family?

“Because just the sudden nature of suicide, the questions that are left behind, it has an enormously devastating impact sadly.”

Suicide has been an issue in Ireland for many years.

Although it has often been spoken about as a male problem, females are affected also..

“It has touched every family in every locality essentially.

“And although the numbers are kind of pointing towards the male unfortunately in the last year in Galway/Mayo there have been a number of female suicides too which always existed but I suppose in Ireland, a lot of it is associated with males, either younger or older.

“I don’t know if that feeds into the idea or the stereotype or the image or maybe just the reality that that females are probably more in tune emotionally, maybe more likely to have the dialogue.

“These are all generalisations really and the stark figures and the stark reality of what has happened and where and when, they paint a picture and they paint a picture of a mental health epidemic in a sense, and suicide awareness is a way of tackling it.

“Certainly Colm’s charity Stamp Out Suicide has been instrumental in tackling it to the greatest extent possible within that organisation.”

Although the play depicts a father and son, it could easily be a mother and daughter, couldn’t it?

“It could, absolutely.

“It can affect anybody, anywhere, at any time really.

“I suppose people now have realised that personality type is not necessarily an indicator.

“Again, what struck me for the inspiration for the play, was that the two boys were sadly lost at completely different ends of personality scale or maybe in terms of what might have been presented.

“It’s the old cliche or the old adage too that nobody knows what’s going on in somebody’s head, nobody knows the challenges they face and what’s presented outwardly isn’t always an indicator of what’s going on inwardly.

“The reality of those suicide numbers is that life is extremely difficult for a lot of people and it sadly can lead to that devastating consequence.”

Founder of Stamp Out Suicide Colm Farrell, who is from Tuam, Co. Galway and based in Warrington, told The Irish World: “It’s the story of a father and a son who have reunited for the funeral of the eldest son who has died by suicide.

“The father and son have been estranged for many years and the whole story is set in a pub after the funeral.

“Strangely enough the word suicide is never mentioned in the play but it’s so well written we know what they’re talking about.

“There’s a lot of things in the play that relate a lot.”

Colm has walked through every county in Ireland and also the length of Britain to raise awareness to the issue of suicide.

“I continued walking for 110 days.

“I walked through every county in Ireland at the time and then when I finished that, people in the UK were asking me would I do something similar here so I came over to the UK and spent 11 months walking from the most northerly point of Scotland to the most southerly point of England through every county.

“We set up Stamp out Suicide then and Andrew said to me, I’d like to come to England and do the play for the charity.

“It raises the issue of suicide, raises a few quid for the charity and just got good exposure for the whole thing.”

Asked if it gets people talking about the issue Colm says: “Absolutely, I attend all of these shows and I stand up afterwards and speak a few words about suicide and about getting people to talk openly about it and how it shouldn’t be a taboo subject.

“We also do a training programme called QPR where we teach people how to spot the signs of suicide in others and what to do.

“Sometimes people say, ‘We would like to do a training programme’. And then we would go and teach people.

“Anyone can learn how to prevent a suicide, it’s the most preventable of all deaths believe it or not and it only takes about two hours to train people up.

“It’s called QPR: Question, persuade and refer.

“The first part is asking the question.

“Say you were concerned for someone you thought might be suicidal, it’s so important to ask the question.

“Say your friend’s name is Tom, ‘Hi Tom, how are you keeping, I notice you haven’t been  yourself lately I’m just wondering, are you thinking about suicide?’

“Unfortunately for most people the question is asked the wrong way.

“They will say something like, ‘Tom, I hope you’re not thinking about doing something stupid, are you?’

“And unfortunately that’s the worst thing you can say because now you’re telling Tom he’s stupid and Tom will lie to you and say, ‘No, I’m fine’.

“If you ask Tom if he’s contemplating ending his own life or if he’s suicidal, you will take the weight off his shoulders and he will say, ‘Yeah’.

“The next step is, ‘What were you thinking of doing? I’m here to listen to you, tell me your story. I’ll go on the journey with you’.

“Tom might say, ‘Well, I’m thinking about hanging myself’.

“You say, ‘Well Tom have you bought a rope yet? Where is the rope? Let’s take the rope away for now. Can you give me the rope? Can you give it to someone you trust?’

“These steps are so simple but it does prevent suicide and I’ve done it on numerous occasions.

“We provide counselling as well to people.

“If somebody is suicidal and they contact our number, we offer free counselling done over the phone so it doesn’t matter where you are in the UK.”

Colm started drawing attention to the issue when it came into his life.

“A couple of people I had known took their own lives and it just got me thinking, ‘Why is this happening?’

“I met so many people on my walk who were affected by suicide and that’s what was so important, to learn from them: What they went through, how it affected their lives.

“Because every person that dies by suicide, there are 25 people directly affected and there are 250 people affected.

“For every suicide, it affects 250 people and there are 10,000 suicides a year in the UK and Ireland.

“It’s the equivalent of a Ryanair flight going from Liverpool to Dublin once a week and everyone getting killed on board.

“That’s exactly how many people is dying by suicide and if that was happening, there would be uproar.

“If one plane went down, there would be questions.

“If the following week, a plane went down, there would be a lot of questions.

“And if that continued to happen every week, there would be absolute uproar and people would want to do something about it.

“And suicide is the most preventable of all deaths but it’s a matter of getting it out there and people not just talking about it but learning how to prevent suicide and this QPR training course we give can be done by anybody.”

More people talk about mental health these days, Sean remembers a tragedy from his past that shows how things have changed.

“A friend of mine called Sean took his own life.

“I was out for a walk and Sean pulled up in the car.

“I hopped into the car and he looked me in the eye and said, ‘I’m not well, you know?’

“It goes to show you how ignorant I was.

“I said, ‘What do you mean you’re not well?’

“I thought he was going to tell me he had cancer.

“He said, ‘I’ve been to see a few shrinks lately and there’s none of them able to help me’.

“I said, ‘How could you have problems? You’ve got a lovely wife, two lovely daughters, you’ve got a good job, lovely car, lovely house, you go for a few pints’.

“He just looked at me. He goes, ‘You don’t get it, do you?’

“I said, ‘No, I don’t, Sean. I just don’t get how you could have any problems’.

“I said, ‘I’ll meet you tonight for a few pints, we’ll have a chat’.

“I got out of his car.

“He said, ‘Yeah, I’ll see you tonight’.

“I went down the pub that night and no sign of Sean but the following morning my phone rang.

“It was my mother and she said to me, ‘Did you hear about Sean?’

“And I said, ‘No, what about him?’ not even thinking about the conversation the day before.

“She said Sean is dead.

“I said, ‘What? What happened?’

“I thought it was a car accident or something.

“She whispered down the phone to me, ‘He committed suicide’.

“She whispered it because there was such a stigma even as recently as 2009, and I nearly just collapsed.

“I went around for seven or eight months not saying anything to anybody about my conversation with Sean before he committed suicide because I felt so bad about it.

“I don’t feel no guilt now because I didn’t know how to handle the situation back then.

“If that happened now, it would be completely different because I would know exactly what to do.

“My mother now talks out loud about suicide, she doesn’t whisper it anymore.

“It was always hush hush about suicide.

“I always remember she whispered down the phone to me because it was what you did.

“Thanks God that has all changed now.”

The show prompts people in need of help to contact the charity.

“When we do the show, one thing I can guarantee is somebody will call the help line.

“It’s amazing.

“A lot of people come up to talk to us afterwards that have been affected by suicide and it’s just great to be able to chat with them and give them some of the coping mechanisms.

“For example every person that is affected directly by suicide will more than likely spend the rest of their lives asking one question and that question is, why?

“But you’re never going to get the answer to that question, you have to learn to accept that the person wasn’t well and stop asking why.

“I’ve got this from people that have lost sons and daughters, brothers and sisters to suicide and they have all said to me once they stopped asking why, the grieving process became a lot easier.

“It’s just so important that people do get the help that they need because it works.

“If somebody is suicidal and they get help, the chances are they will never attempt suicide again. I’m not saying they won’t think about suicide but the chances are they won’t attempt suicide again but if somebody attempts suicide and doesn’t succeed but also does not go on to receive counselling, they will attempt again.”

Colm pays credit to the community that has supported the charity.

“We’ve been very lucky with support from the Irish community all over the UK.

“I just can’t praise these people enough.”

Prodigal plays at The Claddagh Ring 8pm Friday 13 June and 3pm Sunday 15 June raising money for Stamp Out Suicide.

You can get tickets at ticketsource.co.uk/stamp-out-suicide

For more information about Stamp Out Suicide, go to stampoutsuicide.co.uk.

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