Coping with Bereavement
By Shelley Marsden
It is, of course, an extremely difficult thing for anyone when they lose someone that is dear to them Often dealing with practical matters at such a time can feel like a mountain too high to climb. So it’s important to make the logistical side of things as easy as possible.
Firstly, if your loved one has died at home, you should call a doctor who will sing a medical certificate confirming the cause of death. You should also receive a Formal Notice that states the doctor has singed the Medical Certificate and tells you how to register the death. The possibility of organ donation is also something that needs to be considered at a very early stage.
If the death has taken place in hospital, the doctor there will issue the certificate. The hospital will also be able to hold your loved one’s body until you arrange for it to be removed to, for instance, a Chapel of Rest.
As far as funeral arrangements are concerned, it may be difficult to face so soon these things are best dealt with as swiftly as possible, even before you have obtained a death certificate. Once you have chosen a Funeral Director, he or she can advise and help you with all the necessary arrangements (including special circumstances such as for example the death occurring away from home).
Funerals can be expensive, though it may be the last thing you are thinking about at the time. A recommendation would be to take quotes from at least two different companies so you can compare prices.
You may be eligible for help from the State (you may qualify for a Funeral Payment from the Social Fund). Perhaps you are eligible to receive a Bereavement Payment, which is a £2,000 lump tax free sum to help you at the time of your husband’s, wife’s or civil partner’s death. Your local Jobcentre Plus can help you with this information.
Other practicalities at this time include returning a variety of documents to the relevant organisations, such as cheque books, passport, NHS equipment, driver’s licence. You will clearly need to inform family members and friends of the death, but also a hospital the person was attending if relevant, his or her employer, the Inland Revenue, their bank, family doctor, local social services and so on.
Bereavement affects the individual in different ways, and the process of natural grieving may take considerable time. As well as passing through a series of emotions such as shock, anger, guilt, fear, sadness etc, you may experience sleeplessness, poor appetite, anxiety and other symptoms.
Don’t forget that talking about your loss with friends and family is crucial to the healing process. And remember, it’s OK to ask for help. Sometimes, people need more help than those close to them can offer. It might be an idea to go for bereavement counselling in this case; both funeral directors and ministers can refer you to the right people.
Memorial Cards
Memorial cards can of course be an integral part of the process of remembering a loved one. The reputable company www.memorialcards.co.uk was established over 30 years ago, and offers completely personal stationery and you can supply your own verse, which will be printed at no extra cost. Some excellent suggested texts can be found on their website and any of the designs featured on this site can be adapted to suit your needs again at no extra cost. Another well-respected company is www.memorialcardcompany.com. Made inIreland, they offer a beautiful selection of personalised memorial cards, a celebration to the life of a loved one, a lasting keepsake from a personal service from a family-run company. The firm’s team of graphic designers can help with the design of more unique memorial cards so anything you want is made possible. You also receive free family key-rings with every order from the memorial cards website.
Celtic memorials
If you would like a beautiful celtic memorial for your loved one, one company that will do a very respectable job is Celtic Memorials, which create headstones out of top quality granite and marble with shamrock, St Patrick, Irish Harp, Our Lady designs. For a free brochure of what’s on offer, you can call 01268 285380 or 07748 153175.
Barry & Murray Funeral Service
Barry & Murray Funeral Service have helped many local families through difficult times with compassion and expertise over the last 40 years., offering a genuinely local service backed by the strength and reassurance of a truly unique and caring organisation.
All of the company’s staff are supported by resources and expertise that only a trusted organisation can provide. They are professionally trained and have an unrivalled knowledge of funeral practices, customs and products and this knowledge can be used to meet the widest possible range of funeral requests.
Working together Funeral Directors Sean Murray, Dennis Barry, assisted by Edith Gigg and Angela O’Connor are supported by experienced staff who provide 24 hour care for families across the all the West London boroughs. The teams atLillie Rd, Fulham andGreenford Ave, Hanwell can offer advice on all aspects of funeral arrangement, as well as information on Funeral Plans, memorials and floral tributes and these services are complimented by a superb fleet of Jaguar Funeral vehicles.
Barry & Murray are specialists in Re-patriation to all parts ofIreland, and have a fine selection of Irish Coffins at the showroom in Fulham which are available to view at any time. Arrangements can be made at the funeral home or in the comfort of your own home.
For more information on any aspects of funeral arrangements please contact 020 7381 4549 or 020 8840 8991, or call into Barry & Murray and you will be well received.
Useful contacts:
Age Concern England
Tel 020 8765 7200
Child Bereavement Trust
Tel 0845 357 1000
Citizens Advice Bureau
Tel 0845 050 5250
Community Legal Service Director
0845 345 4345
