Ten signs you’re Irish on Valentine’s Day

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We may have brought the romantic words of Patrick Kavanagh and W.B. Yeats to the world, but romance doesn’t always come naturally when it comes to us celebrating the feast of St. Valentine.

1.)    ‘It’s a loada b*****’

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Many dismiss the sentiment of getting involved on a day where it’s compulsory to be romantic. ‘Sure don’t I love ya the rest of the year’, but if you’re lucky enough to have a few traditions, the following may ring true…

2.)    You get a card from your mum

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Singletons need not fear on the most romantic day of the year, as the ‘Irish Mammy’ comes to the rescue. You get in the door and she nearly passes out with the excitement of leaving out an anonymously signed card, but it’s in the same script that was writing your sick notes for years.

3.)    Military-style efforts to intercept the post

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If you’re expecting a delivery you better have given your work address… Embarrassing looks from your colleagues are nothing compared to the interrogation you’ll get from your mother about who your admirer is, their family name, job, hometown etc – thank God for e-cards!

4.)    Googling the nearest florists

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Irish males could have walked past the same one on the way to the barber / chipper / station / pub a million times without batting an eyelid, prompting the last-dash attempts to get Whatsapp advice and directions from their loved-up friends

5.)    Ben and Jerry’s is your best friend

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Fear not, you and your single mates will feel way more fulfilled on your night in, watching re-runs of Friends and Dirty Dancing with a belly full of ice-cream. Who needs men?

6.)    Dodge the event altogether

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You know of at least three people, (ahem ‘friends’),  who were dumped in early February only for their beau to get a mysterious case of cop-on to get back together a few days after Valentine’s.

7.)    Postponing the date to grab a bargain

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The ‘lads’ have a birthday or match on the big day, so it’s of course no bother to reschedule for the 15th. Then arrives your loved one armed with cut-price Valentine’s Day choccies and flowers outside the filling station that you seen on your morning jog.

8.)    Running last-minute errands for your dad

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You’ve spent hours sprucing yourself up for your hot date and are just about to go out the door before your dad hands you a fiver to run out to the shop and pick up ‘any old card for your mother’ and a lucky dip for the Lotto.

9.)    Getting one of these beauties

Cards by Designist available here

10.) There’ll be more than two of you on your date

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Fellas will all pick the same venue offering a Valentine’s Day special ensuring that all your friends are being wined and dined in the same place. Cue many awkward glances and greetings through gritted teeth until you all end up at the bar together for the rest of the evening.
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